Be Here Now
by linksofmemories
Summary: During a Cie'th Stone mission Snow and Vanille take a break in the Steppes. Both crave the simpler days and end up finding what they want the most in each other.
1. Somewhere Only We Know

**I have no idea why I like this couple so much, but I really just love it. Maybe it's because Vanille is just so shippable. The sad thing is that I couldn't find a single story for them! I hope I do this justice as possibly the first SnowxVanille story on this site. Enjoy!**

**And if you have a minute why don't we go,  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything,  
So why don't we go,  
Somewhere only we know?**

**- Somewhere Only We Know by Keane**

* * *

Snow watched as Vanille knelt down next to one of the many ponds in the Archylte Steppe. The two were on a mission for a Cie'th Stone while the rest of their party was setting up camp. No one wanted to go with Vanille on the mission since the Mark was highly dangerous, but she kept insisting that she felt a "force" pulling her to the stone.

After a while she gave up on asking and started to prepare a trip by herself. Snow volunteered to go along since he knew she would be in trouble if she went by herself. Now here they were at a pond with no idea where the mark was. They had been traveling for hours with little to talk about, but plenty of fiends to ward off.

Vanille took off her boots and dipped her legs into the cool water. She smiled contently before looking back at Snow who was standing a few yards behind her.

"Care to join me?" she asked, giving him a bright smile.

He shook his head and walked towards her. He barely knew anything about the girl other than what Fang had told him about their life on Gran Pulse. From what he could tell she was a very cheerful girl with little worries and had just been dragged into all of this by accident. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the tall grass, giving a sigh of pure content.

"I always loved this place," Vanille said. "Drinking up the sunshine, riding Chocobos, looking at all of the wildlife. It's so peaceful."

Snow sat down next to her, keeping away from the water. She rolled over on her side and propped herself up on one elbow to look at him.

"Do you have a place like this on Cocoon?" she questioned. "A place where you feel like everything is okay?"

"Yeah," he said, looking down at her. "At Bodhum, where I proposed to Serah."

He took the crystal tear out of his pocket and held it up to the sun. Lying down next to her, he turned the crystal over in his hands. Vanille turned over on her back once more and looked at the crystal in Snow's hands.

"You must miss her so much," she murmured.

He gave a short nod before placing the crystal back in his pocket and standing up. Taking Vanille's hand, he pulled her back up to her feet, forgetting that her legs were still in the pond water.

She gave out a startled shout, grabbing Snow's jacket in a reflex meaning to steady herself. Her feet slipped on the muddy pond floor though and they went stumbling backwards into the shallow pond. Both broke the surface at the same time, gasping for air. Vanille was still clutching to Snow's jacket and he had coiled an arm around her small waist.

Vanille was the first to give out a laugh as she laid down at the edge of pond with her lower body still submerged. Snow placed his hands on either side of her head and a knee between her legs, laughing as well.

"Don't you do that again," Snow said between laughs.

Looking up at him, Vanille took note of their current position. Her laughter ceased and soon his did as well. Snow broke their eye contact just in time to see a Behemoth King charging right for them. He scooped Vanille up in his arms and clumsily climbed out the pond when the Behemoth King splashed into the water.

The pond water slashed at them with alarming sting as Snow ran from the pond. The Behemoth quickly jumped out the lake and continued to pound away after them. The vibrations the ground suffered were a minor setback for Snow as he ran with Vanille tightly in his arms.

"Snow! Snow!" Vanille cried, looking up at the blonde. "That's the Mark! A Behemoth King without one hind leg! That's it! We've got to fight!"

He took an instant to look behind him and noticed what he should have noticed before. Despite its physical disadvantage the Behemoth was still able to move with cunning speed. Snow ducked behind a ledge just as the creature jumped over it. He let the red-headed girl out of his arms and set her back on her feet.

"My boots," she whined, looking down at her bare feet. "Oh, this is terrible."

"We'll get them after we fight this thing," Snow said, glancing over the ledge.

The Mark was looking around in search of its prey. Snow bent back down and looked at Vanille who was getting out her binding rod. She gave a nod to go over the ledge. Punching a fist in his hand he nodded back in agreement before holding up three fingers. Vanille positioned the rod in her hands. He lowered one finger and she crouched. He lowered another and she stood on the tips of her toes while holding the rod back over her head. He dropped the last finger and she jumped into the air, launching the rod forward and landing on top of the ledge.

He jumped onto the ledge and waited until the cords from her rod bound the beast. He cast a Ruin to startle it before running towards it and digging fist after fist into the skull of the Behemoth. It howled in pain and fought against the restraints. Soon the howling stopped and the Mark toppled on its side with its skull bashed in.

Vanille cast the cords back into her rod before folding it and placing it in the pouch on her back. She jumped off of the ledge and stumbled slightly as her bare feet hit the hard ground.

"Let's go back to the pond," Snow said, his voice rid of emotion as he slung an arm over Vanille's shoulders to stop her from looking at the fallen beast.

Once back at the pond, which was now rid of half its water, Snow sat down and watched as Vanille tugged her soaking wet boots back on to her feet. His mind wasn't on the Behemoth that he had just slain, but the girl before him. He hadn't positioned himself above her like that on accident. Snow wasn't stupid when it came to things like that. It was too soon of him to propose to Serah, he was only 21 and she was barely 18. He panicked though; she was a l'Cie with who knew how much time left. Now she was gone. For good? Who knew.

Vanille was a crystal once centuries ago and he didn't want to have to wait that long for Serah. It was cruel of him to use Vanille like he had and he knew he wouldn't do it again. Maybe that was why he had beaten the Behemoth beyond dead. He needed to release all of that pent up aggression. Or something like that.

"I'm ready to go back," Vanille's voice reached him.

She was standing in front of him with her hands folded together and a nervous expression across her features. Snow gave a nod and used his hands to help him off of the ground. Maybe "tried" was a better word. His hands ached and burned under the little pressure he put on them and he contained the blinding pain in a small grunt. Vanille was no fool and knew exactly that he was faking it.

"Your hands," she said, concern etched across her face. "Let me see."

"They're fine," he protested, trying to get up again.

"No," she said sternly, placing her hands on his broad shoulders and shoving him back on the ground. "Let. Me. See. Them."

"What's the magic word?" Snow teased.

"Now," she said, sitting on her knees in front of him.

Snow knew better than to argue so he complied and held his gloved hands out to her. She took one gingerly in her hand and peeled back the glove much to his chagrin. She placed the glove by her side and ran a thumb along his knuckles. The skin was swollen and there might have been a broken bone somewhere, but it was nothing she couldn't heal quickly. She hovered her hands above his and closed her eyes to focus.

"Cure," she muttered and a blue light shown from the palms of her hands.

She kneaded the light over his hand and soon enough the swelling went down. If any bones were in fact broken they would have healed easily. After a few minutes she stopped the light and took his hand in hers once again. She gave a smile.

"One hand down," Vanille said, reaching for the other one.

"That was enough, thank you," Snow said, reaching past her and taking the glove that was lying on the ground next to her.

"Snow, stop," Vanille said, taking his other hand before he could stand.

He recoiled at her touch and bit his lip to stop the scream that was coming. Vanille's eyes widened and she placed her hands back in her lap. Blood trickled down his chin, but it was wiped away by a gentle hand. He closed his eyes at the gesture.

"Vanille," he muttered and she let out a small gasp.

That was the first time he had ever said her name. Her stomach twisted when he did say it and she felt horrible that it did. He was engaged and in love and why was she even thinking of things like this?

"I- I need to heal the other hand," she said, fighting to keep her voice in check.

His blue eyes opened to meet her green ones. His hand was killing him and he knew that she could probably heal it in an instant. Why didn't he let her though? If it was someone else he would have let them heal his hand in a second. With her it was different. Maybe he was reading too much into it, but it seemed like such a sensual or intimate act when she did it. Not that he minded.

Her small hands inched towards his large one until he eventually raised it in front of her. Vanille took his hand as carefully as possible only to watch his features tighten in pain. Small fingers pulled back the worn leather of the glove as quickly and gently as she could. She soon realized that the glove was damp with blood. Not blood from a King Behemoth, but blood from a human. From him. Green eyes widened at the sight of one of the bones in his hand sticking out of the skin.

"Why?" Vanille asked with tears forming in her eyes. "Why did you beat it so hard?"

"I don't know," Snow said.

Vanille looked at him to see his face strained of color and his lip bleeding yet again. Perspiration made locks of hair stick to his face and she was certain that it had taken him everything to not shout in pain. She wiped the blood from his lips yet again. Snow grabbed her wrist with his healed hand and made it so she was cupping his cheek.

"Please," he muttered. "Don't do anything else for just a little while."

"Don't worry," she assured. "I won't."

They sat like that for what seemed like hours. Her hand pressed against his cheek and he looking right into her eyes. She was hesitant to look back at first, but soon green met blue. Vanille felt dirty and full of shame. She couldn't possibly be doing something like this with a taken man. Like what though?

"How old are you?" Snow asked, breaking the silence.

"Physically or technically?" she asked.

"Physically," he said, without skipping a beat.

"Nineteen," Vanille replied. "And you?"

"Twenty-one," Snow said and his fingers slowly started to brush the knuckles on the back of her hand.

Vanille nodded. Two years was barely anything. A small number really. She pulled her hand back and moved it toward the hand she had yet to heal.

"I'll be as quickly as possible," she said.

He lifted the hand in front of her and she took it in her hands while saying, "Curasa."

A stronger, more vibrant blue light shone from her hands. She worked the healing light over the wound until the bone went back under the skin. The swelling went down, the bone mended, and the skin went back together. When the blue light was gone she was gasping for breath. That always took a lot out of her.

"Good as new," Snow said, stretching out his healed hand. "A little stiff though, but it's fine."

She gave a weak smile. The sun was going down and they needed to either make camp or get back to the others as quickly as possible.

"We... should pr-probably make c-camp or some- oh!" Vanille gasped, feeling a sharp pain in her stomach.

"Vanille, what's wrong?" Snow asked, taking a hold of her arms.

"That Curasa... it took a toll on me," Vanille said, shaking her head. "I'm fine, really."

Clutching her skirt, she knew what was going to happen next. The blinding pain and then nothing would come soon. She knew from healing wounds back in Oerba centuries ago that pain was going to come with a vengeance. White hot pain inched up her neck and she was sweating buckets when her vision started to get fuzzy. Her lips parted and she was about to let out a scream at the peak of pain when cool lips touched hers.

The pain was so real and alive in the pit of her being that she couldn't see, but she knew what was happening. The shout of the kiss overcame the cries of the pain with ease. Large hands let her hair out of its pigtails and raked through her hair. Her back felt the cool dirt and earth. The pain died down and with a few blinks she could see the closed eyes of Snow. She cupped his face and broke the kiss.

His hands were placed on either side of her head and a knee between her legs. Shock and regret were on his face and he was panting. She knew she probably looked pale as a ghost and just as shocked.

She had been kissed by one boy before many years ago in Oerba. Life on Oerba was different than this though. There was hunting and she rarely saw him. Fang was always with her, so she often forgot about him and just focused on the mission she had been sent out to do. This was so different.

"Snow," she said as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't unde-."

"Don't talk," Snow whispered, rolling his thumb back and forth over her lips.

He stood up and started to walk away from her. She sat up and watched as he continued to walk. Her chest was tight, but not with pain. It was dark already so they couldn't head back to the others. Cocoon lit up the night sky like a moon and fireflies were blinking in random spots. It was beautiful, but it just seemed to taunt her.

"Stay here," Snow said a ways in front of her. "I'll find things for a fire."

Snow kept walking without waiting for a reply. Vanille found her hair ties and put her hair back into place before bringing her knees up to her chest. He wouldn't be back for a while so she took this time to lay down in the tall grass and sleep.

She found herself being awoken by a gentle shoulder shake. Her green eyes fluttered open to see Snow crouching next to her and hear a crackling fire. His white coat was placed on top of her. Vanille took the coat off of her and placed it on the ground between them. She kept her eyes on Snow to see anything different in his facial expressions or actions.

"Snow." "Vanille."

Their eyes locked when they both said each other's name. Vanille broke the contact and looked at her hands that were folded in her lap.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine," she said. "I used to heal things like that in Oerba all of the time. It's always a lot of strain on the body, but I'm used to it."

"I didn't know," Snow said.

"How could you?" Vanille asked. "I didn't tell you. You had no way of knowing and-."

"Stop blaming yourself for me kissing you," he cut her off.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked.

Heavy silence hung in the air and Vanille wished she could take the question back. His blue eyes seemed to pierce through her and she couldn't bear to look at him. But her gaze never broke from his. He leaned in closer and she could smell the distinct scent he carried on him. Stubble brushed against her chin right when his lips pressed firmly against hers. Her eyes instantly closed and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He coiled his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. One of his hands went up to cup her cheek and the other stayed pressed against the small of her back. He parted from her lips and placed a kiss on her jaw before pressing his forehead against hers.

"I kissed you because for once I didn't feel like I was obligated to," he said. "I love Serah, but when I found out she was a l'Cie I got scared. It felt like I was supposed to take care of her and love her. My duty or something. I kissed you because I wanted to and I miss when it was just as simple as that. I don't-."

"You're kind of rambling," Vanille said, placing her fingertips over his lips. "I understand. I kind of miss the simple things too. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, the end."

"I think it's a little more complicated than that," Snow said.

She shrugged. "It doesn't always have to be. It's quite simple actually. This is _our _place. Right here by this pond. It's sacred to me, so don't forget, okay?"

"I won't forget," Snow said. "Because it's sacred to me as well."

She kissed him that time and it was just as simple as planned. In the back of both of their heads though they knew that it was a lot more complicated. But just for that moment they wanted to pretend that it was easy.

* * *

**I'll probably add another chapter or two on to this, so be on the look-out! Review! God bless!**


	2. Let Go

**Still no clue why I love this pairing. Maybe one day I'll figure it out. Enjoy! **

**So, let go, let go,  
Jump in.  
Oh well, what you waiting for?  
It's all right,  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.  
So, let go, let go,  
Just get in.  
Oh, it's so amazing here.  
It's all right,  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.**

**- Let Go by Frou Frou**

* * *

Vanille was surprised that no one had confronted them yet. Especially Lightning. She was scared that someone would just come up to her and say that they knew exactly what was going on. Maybe her constant fright and jumpiness would alert someone, but things were fine right now. They had made it to the Sulyya Springs and Vanille had volunteered to set up camp while everyone was off doing something. She was spreading out the blankets when strong arms wrapped around her middle and brought her to lean against a broad chest.

"How long do you think everyone will be gone?" Snow asked, kissing her earlobe.

"Dunno," Vanille replied, feeling her face heat up. "A couple of hours, maybe. You weren't gone long yourself."

Soon after the Cie'th Stone mission Vanille had found out that Snow was a lot more physical than she had thought. Back at the pond it seemed he was just very gentle, but whenever they were alone now it seemed a lot more physical. Of course Vanille would never let it go _that _far. Not because of Serah; she knew she had turned her back on Serah long ago, so would it really make a difference what they were doing? No, it was because Vanille wasn't ready. At all. Maybe not even for ten more years. It was obvious that Snow was ready, but from what Fang had told her about men it seemed like they were all ready.

"I was just trying to get a good lay of the land, it didn't take long," he said, looping a finger under one of her hair ties and pulling it out of her hair.

She always imagined Snow as the heroic guy who always seemed invincible to being too horny. Apparently not. Vanille was slowly, but surely, finding out all of the little things that Snow kept from everyone else.

His finger looped around the other hair tie and pulled that one out as well. He held her hair up with one hand while the other went under the bead chain on her stomach. Goosebumps prickled up her neck as his lips pressed between her shoulder blades. She felt the shadow of a smirk there and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He just though he was so good, didn't he?

"So, did you?" she inquired.

"Did I what?" he asked, moving his lips to the side of her neck.

"Get a good lay of the land," Vanille said, twisting around and wrapping an arm around his neck.

"Pretty good if I do say so myself," Snow mumbled against her lips.

She gave a small smile before placing a light kiss on his lips. Vanille untangled herself from him and went back to spreading out the blankets. After a few moments she looked back at Snow who was just sitting there dumbfounded.

"What's wrong?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"That's it?" he asked, standing up and walking towards her.

He gave her no chance to reply as he turned her around and kissed her hard. Snow could tell she was surprised by the way her lips stayed still against his. Soon she responded to it though and didn't protest when he laid her down on one of the blankets she had just spread out. Continuing to kiss her, he tugged off his gloves and cast them aside. He kept one hand tangled in her red curls and the other slowly inching up her stomach.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Snow and Vanille froze. They had just been caught. It was over. Vanille propped herself up on her elbows and Snow turned around just enough to see who was there. Sazh. Shit. Sazh treated Vanille like a daughter after they had spent so much time together when everyone had gotten separated.

"Uh, Sazh," Vanille said, standing up and brushing off her skirt. "This isn't what it looks like."

"Save it, Vanille," Sazh said, holding up his hand. "You, come with me."

Sazh pointed to Snow and then jerked a thumb over his shoulder. Snow looked back at Vanille before following Sazh. Vanille gave a heavy sigh and plopped back down on the blanket. The baby Chocobo had decided to stay with her and was currently resting on top of her knee. She cupped her hands and the Chocobo jumped into them. Smiling, she gave it a small peck on its beak.

"You, my friend, are the most amazing man I know," she said. "Our relationship is just so simple, isn't it?"

"Well, that is a Chocobo you're talking to."

Vanille looked up and saw Fang walking towards her. She sat down next to her long-time friend and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Care to tell me why Sazh is getting red in the face at Snow?" Fang asked.

"You know why," Vanille said.

Even though Vanille hadn't told Fang about Snow, she knew. Maybe it was because the pair was like sisters and could practically read each other's minds. Fang shook her head and wrapped an arm around Vanille.

"I'm not going to applaud you for what you've been doing," she said.

"I would call you crazy if you did," the red-head said. "I didn't want it to happen. I met Serah and she's so sweet and beautiful and wonderful and... Why would he choose me? There's always a chance she'll wake up. I don't have anything on her."

Fang shrugged. She was at a loss for what to say to Vanille. Vanille had always been helpful around Oerba and a lot of boys were attracted to her, but she never got caught up in those kinds of things. So, when she actually did get caught up in some guy, and it's an engaged guy, then Fang can't help but think she did something wrong. The two were best friends and like sisters. Fang basically taught Vanille everything she knew about life so for something like this to happen, well it was a little unsettling.

"You should end this," Fang said.

The baby Chocobo chirped in what Fang hoped was agreement. Vanille looked at the Chocobo in her hands before looking at Fang with wet eyes.

"I know," Vanille said, her voice becoming thick with tears. "But I just- I just _can't_!"

The rustling of movement caused the pair to look up. Sazh and Snow were walking towards them. Sazh looking angry and Snow with barely any emotion left on his face. Vanille made the mistake of looking into Snow's blue eyes and immediately felt ice start to spread throughout her body. The baby Chocobo chirped and flew back to Sazh.

"I've gotta go," Vanille said, standing up.

"Where?" Fang asked, standing up with her.

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head and walking forward on the path the islands gave. "Just somewhere. I'll be back."

She started to run and not look back. After a while she was certain that no one had followed her and continued on her way at a slower pace. Soon the island and waterfall scenery was replaced with that of a grass cliff field. The sun was setting and pastel colors illuminated the sky along with huge fuzzy Dandelions. Cocoon seemed larger and in a clearer view than it appeared in the Steppes.

Vanille sat down in the tall swaying grass and held out her hands to catch a flying Dandelion. The flower caught in her hands and within seconds dispersed into little feathers of fluff. She smiled despite the situation and leaned back on her elbows.

What a fool she was. A man who was absolutely and utterly in love with a beautiful girl would never feel anything for her. She was the bright, cheerful, ditsy girl that people thought little of. Serah was gorgeous, charming, and smart; everything Vanille wasn't. She would spend the night here and go back to the Springs in the morning. Just one night to clear her head.

Catching another flying Dandelion in her hands, Vanille closed her eyes and soon felt the fluff spread across her face. Memories of Oerba came flooding back to her. In this very field she had made a wish on one of the flying Dandelions when she was 9 years-old. She wished that she would someday be in love like her parents had been. Not like best friends like everyone else who was married, but madly and truly in love. Tears cascaded down her cheeks and into the remaining fluff in her hands. She had always been such a big dreamer.

"Vanille!"

Her eyes opened and she looked up to see Snow walking towards her. Here it comes; the break-up. Vanille stood up, turned away from him, and ran. She would not scar this place with something painful. The wind whipped across her face and the grass cut at her legs, but she didn't care; she just had to get away. Her plans for running away quickly ceased as she reached the cliff.

The cliff went down like stairs before taking a dangerous lunge down. She stumbled down a few of the stairs before stopping on a particularly thin one. A large, gloved hand took one of her bare ones.

"What are you, an idiot?" Snow yelled angrily.

Vanille turned around on the step a little too quickly and her boot fell beneath a piece of rock that crumbled away. She let out a shout and leaned forward, grabbing on to Snow's coat. One of his arms looped around her waist and picked her up a couple more steps.

"Apparently so," she said, pulling out of his grasp and walking back into the field.

"Don't scare me like that," Snow said, standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Lucky for you I'm not suicidal," she confided, shoving his arms away. "Can you just leave? I really don't feel like looking for another place to be alone."

No response. Maybe that remark had stung. If it had, good. It was supposed to. She was in just as deep as he in this whole mess so he should feel a little bit of her guilt and pain.

"I might wanna stick around though," his confident-filled voice said from behind her. "You might actually fall off a cliff without me here."

"I was only running because I didn't want you to ruin this!" Vanille lashed out, twisting on her heel and looking up at him with hate-filled eyes. "This place is so special! More than you could possibly imagine. It's where I go when I'm lonely, when I'm scared, when everything is just so twisted and _wrong_!"

He said nothing; just looked at her. Blinking away furious tears, she continued to stand there looking up at him. She would not back away and admit defeat. Snow walked towards her and she continued to stand there. Inches apart now he took off his gloves and dropped them in the grass. Vanille saw his arm reach past her and catch a flying Dandelion in his hand.

"We have these back home in Bodhum," he explained. "Well, not these exactly. They're weeds and a lot smaller. We used to blow on them and make a wish."

Feathers of fluff flew away from his hand and he put it back at his side. He was looking over her head and she was looking at his chest.

"My parents died when I was just a kid," he continued. "I remember my mom giving me girl advice though. If I ever found the one, no matter my current status, I was supposed to take her and run."

Snow reached into his pocket and took out Serah's crystal tear. He held it up to the sky before throwing it as far as he could manage.

"I understand why you don't want this place to be ruined," he said. "It's beautiful, so it should mark where things with me and Serah didn't work out. But also where things with you and me _really _began."

He took off the engagement pendent from around his neck and looked at it before dropping it in the grass next to them. Placing his hands on her hips, he stroked the bare skin of her stomach with his thumbs.

"Snow," she said, looking up at him and indefinitely giving up.

She wasn't exactly sure how or when it happened, but it did. It was scary and exhilarating and a mixture of what she had heard and what she hadn't. Somehow it felt right though. Like everything just clicked into place. Thinking about afterward was stupid and unnecessary. All that mattered was that moment.

Afterward eventually came though. The curtain fell and it was all over.

A soft tickle on her nose awoke her the next morning. Vanille's green eyes fluttered open and saw a flying Dandelion swaying in front of her face. She resisted the urge to sneeze and tried to sit up. Arms around her waist stopped her though and the events of last night came flooding back to her. She twisted around in Snow's strong embrace and smiled at his sleeping face. He looked so defenseless while asleep. Placing a kiss on his lips, she watched as he slowly awoke.

"Good morning," she muttered.

He gave a sleepy smile. "Good morning indeed."

He unwrapped his arms from around her and they sat up. Vanille grabbed the nearest piece of clothing and started to dress as quickly as possible. Needless to say she took a considerably longer time than Snow did.

"You should consider not wearing that many beads," Snow said once she had finally finished with her bangles. "It took me forever to get all of that off of you."

"I like to accessorize," Vanille defended, feeling her face start to heat up at his comment.

"I can tell," he said, taking her in his arms again. "So, what now?"

"We go back to the others," she said. "Fang and Sazh are probably worried."

"Everyone's worried about you," Snow said, taking a step back to look at her. "No one would care if I showed back up again or not."

Vanille looked up at him and started to talk in protest when he pressed a thumb to her lips. Slowly he traced his thumb back and forth. "Don't."

"Don't what?" she asked, grabbing his wrist and pushing it away. "You have to go back! I'll worry! I'll care! Snow, don't talk like that."

"For one thing Lightning is going to kill me," he said. "They're all going to give me these dirty looks. I'm a good-for-nothing cheater after all."

"Well, I'm the other woman," Vanille protested.

"No one can hate you though," he said, shaking his head. "You're too... perfect."

She froze. Perfection was something that was far away from her. There was no possible way to describe how much those words seemed like a lie. Well, coming from someone else they seemed like a lie, but from him they seemed so real. She knew that he thought she was perfect. But she was so painfully flawed.

"Let's head back," Vanille said, walking through the field.

Snow watched her walk away until he finally decided to go back with her. He knew it would be hell back with the others, but if she was there with him maybe it wouldn't be too bad.

* * *

**Probably one more chapter to finish this off. Review! God bless!**


	3. One More Time With Feeling

**Last chapter! Sorry this is so late. This chapter is a lot different from the other two, but I really like it. Enjoy!**

**Hold on,  
One more time with feeling.  
Try it again, breathing's just a rhythm.  
Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right.  
This is why we fight.**

**- One More Time With Feeling by Regina Spektor**

* * *

_"Ragnarok," Serah's voice said._

_It was like she appeared out of nowhere. One moment they were all walking through Oerba and the next there she was walking towards them. Vanille's hand was soon without the presence of a larger, gloved one and she knew she had lost._

_She should have known, seen it coming or something. There was just no possible way that he could ever love her the way that he loved Serah. Serah was the girl that every guy dreamed about. Pretty, girly, smart, and always in need of rescue (so it seemed)._

_So Vanille watched as Serah went straight into Snow's arms. It felt like her heart had been shredded and nothing else mattered but the blinding pain. Fang placed a hand on her shoulder, but Vanille brushed it away._

_Serah was talking to Snow about something when he pushed her away abruptly. Vanille took a step forward to what was going on when an owl soared through the sky. A strangely familiar owl._

_"Destroy Orphan!" Serah said with a bright smile. "We'll save the world!"_

_"Stop it!" Lightning said with agitation on her face._

_"You can't do that," Serah said. "You love me too much, you do, don't you, Claire?"_

_"Enough already!" Snow said__,__ stepping in between the two sisters. "Serah, we are all shooting for the same goal here."_

_Just then a light formed around Serah and her appearance morphed into Dysley's. _

_"And the result of that is this," Dysley said._

_"You son of a bi-!" Snow shouted__,__ swinging a fist that connected with air._

_He tumbled to the ground just to get back up and try again. His fist hit a force field next and he went flying backward towards the group. Vanille hurried to Snow as he stood up. She wrapped her arms around his right one and buried her face into his coat._

_"Stop it!" Vanille cried. "You'll only hurt yourself."_

_Snow froze before taking a few steps back and freeing his arm from her. Anger still lit up his blue eyes and Vanille stayed away in order for his head to clear. Time was short though._

_Sazh and Lightning stepped forward with their weapons ready just as Dysley morphed once more into another one of his fal'Cie forms. Fang and Hope joined soon after__,__ leaving Snow and Vanille to stay back._

_She kept her distance from him and the fight. Her binding rod was out just in case she needed to cast a quick Cure or Esuna. Snow stretched his hands into and out of fists before heading towards the fight. She sighed and watched him go with her rod still in position. _

_He stopped halfway to his destination to spin back around and go back to her. She probably looked confused because he needed to give an explanation._

_"I forgot something," he said__,__ cupping her cheek and pressing his lips against hers._

_It was over quicker then she had hoped and her eyes fluttered back open to see him running away._

* * *

Vanille's green eyes opened slowly with heavy blinks to make sure she was where she thought she was. Bodhum was busy as per usual with the abundance of travelers and small families. She had fallen asleep in the beach chair... again.

It was a month after the fight with Orphan and memories seemed to be haunting her in sleep. Guilt was a common emotion these days. Fang and Serah had sacrificed themselves when Vanille knew she should've been the one to do so. Serah should be falling asleep on the beach, not her.

She raised her arms over her head and wiggled her toes in the warm sand. Boredom was also a common emotion. Sazh and Dajh were back at their home miles away, Hope was living with his dad in Palumpolum, Lightning was a soldier again for the new and improved government this time, and Snow was always busy helping out with Team NORA.

It seemed that no one took note of Vanille's home being Oerba back on Gran Pulse. Bodhum was nice, but she missed the wild life and fresh air. Salt water and sand could only do so much for her.

Grabbing her sandals and the beach bag she had borrowed from Lebreau, Vanille stood up and made her way to the bar on the beach. Once there she was quickly spotted by Lebreau who was working the counter.

"Vanille!" she called, waving an arm. "Over here!"

Vanille walked over to Lebreau and placed the beach bag on the counter. She opened up the bag and took out her things (sunscreen, keys, small amount of gil, sunglasses, and shorts) before handing it back. Lebreau took the bag and stowed it away under the counter.

"So, how was the beach?" she asked.

"I fell asleep again," Vanille said, sitting on one of the stools and putting her sandals back on her feet.

Lebreau laughed and shook her head while sliding a water bottle across the counter to her. Vanille reached for her gil, but Lebreau stopped her.

"It's fine," she said. "Just don't put your shorts back on because you're drawing in customers."

Vanille looked down at what she was wearing. A pink tank top that showed the straps of her bikini top and a pair of yellow bikini bottoms. Her sandals were a light maple color and her red curls were arranged in their ever present pigtails. The only thing off about it was the thing she loved the most; the silver necklace with the Team NORA cat pendant on it. It rested cozily over her heart and she couldn't remember the last time she had taken it off.

Twisting the cap off of her water bottle, she took a sip before looking around the room. It was decently sized for a bar and was always alive with customers. Vanille never really liked it there. She was used to empty plains and smaller groups of people. Knowing everyone's names was something she loved.

Racking her mind, she soon realized that Nautilus was her favorite place in Cocoon. Everything was vibrant and alive. Sure, it was pretty crowded, but the Chocobos and the excitement was something she craved.

After spending some more time with Lebreau, Vanille headed back to the apartment she shared with Snow. Taking the keys out of her shorts she had yet to put back on, she put the key in the lock and twisted it. She turned the knob and pushed the door in when she was pulled into the apartment. Stumbling into the front room, she made contact with a bare chest.

Arms were wrapped around her back to steady her. She placed her hands on his chest and looked up into disapproving blue eyes.

"You left for the beach only two hours ago," Snow said.

"I fell asleep," Vanille shrugged, dropping her things on the couch and closing the door behind her.

"How many times have you done that?" Snow asked.

"Too many," she replied, pulling the tank top over her head and making sure that the necklace stayed in place. "We should go somewhere."

"Like the bedroom?" Snow asked, looking Vanille over in her bikini.

"No, like a vacation," she said, rolling her eyes.

"We live in a vacation spot," he said.

"All the more reason to go somewhere else," she said, walking down the small hallway that led to their bedroom.

"Like the bedroom?" Snow repeated, following her.

Vanille ignored him and opened up her dresser drawer to get some clothes out. She undid the knot on her bikini top when she turned around to see Snow nowhere in sight.

Smiling, she grabbed a towel from the hall closet before heading into the bathroom for a quick shower. She and Snow hadn't made love since the first time in the field back at Gran Pulse. They slept together every night, but things never got too intimate. Vanille was tempted to ask why, but could never find the exact words she needed to say.

After taking her shower and changing into a light cotton dress, Vanille exited the bathroom. Snow was sitting at the kitchen table looking through several papers.

"What's that?" Vanille asked, walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

She placed her chin on his shoulder and tried to catch a peek of the papers when he flipped them over. He turned his head and brushed his nose against hers before placing a kiss on the corner of her lips.

"Are you serious about leaving for a vacation?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her waist and positioning her on his lap.

"Of course!" she chimed. "What were those papers?"

He smirked as he grabbed the papers from the table and handed them to her. She flipped them over and shuffled through paper after paper before handing them back.

"So?" he asked.

"I'm from Gran Pulse in case you've forgotten, Snow," she said. "I can't read the Cocoon language, only understand and speak it."

"I forgot," Snow said, running a hand through his blonde hair. "Well they're different vacation places. I tried to find places that you might like, but-."

"I want to go to Nautilus!" Vanille said instantly, clapping her hands together and smiling widely.

Snow gave a startled blink at her sudden response, but quickly recovered as he leafed through the papers. He grabbed one of them and turned it around to face her. Vanille looked at the picture of the hotel that was right in the center of Nautilus. It was lit up just like every other aspect of the park and was very expensive looking.

"How much?" she asked.

"Money's not an issue," Snow shrugged. "It's for a week, so-."

"An entire week?" Vanille asked. "Sold! Go book it!"

* * *

_"Vanille," Fang said__,__ placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You've got to stay."_

_The red head looked up at her friend and shook her head furiously. "Our focus is the same. Become Ragnarok, save Cocoon, the end. Plus it's not complete with only one person."_

_"Then I'll do it," a voice said._

_Fang and Vanille turned to see Serah Farron standing there. The real, genuine article instead of Dysley's cheap imitation. _

_"You take care of Snow, you hear me?" she asked__,__ slipping the bracelet that was around her bicep off of her arm and into Vanille's hand. "Give that to Claire, okay?"_

_"Wait, I can't let you-." Vanille started._

_"I had the same dream, so this will be alright," Serah said__,__ placing her hands on top of Fang's. _

_Fang looked at Serah and then to Vanille. "You're going to have to live."_

_Vanille opened her mouth yet again in protest, but stopped when they both shook their heads. _

_"We woke up 500 years later, didn't we?" Fang asked. "So, Serah and I might as well. We'll see each other again, just you wait."_

_The next thing that registered to Vanille was waking up next to a confused little boy. She recognized him almost instantly._

_"Dajh?" Vanille asked. _

_The little boy looked up and apparently he recognized her too. "You're the lady who was with my daddy, aren't ya?"_

_She smiled and nodded her head. Standing up__,__ Vanille took in her surroundings to see the field that she had run to. The field that she and Snow had..._

_"Are you okay?" Dajh asked. "Your face is all red."_

_"I'm fine," she said__,__ taking Dajh's hand in hers and helping him to his feet. "My name's Vanille. I'll take you to your daddy, come on."_

_Looking above her was a mistake. Crystal arched through the sky and wrapped around Cocoon. The people there were safe, but the thing that made it a mistake was a faintly glowing blue light in the core of the crystal arches. She didn't wait for her eyes to adjust before looking down and walking with Dajh out on to the field. _

_Soon she took sight of four familiar people. Tapping Dajh on the shoulder__,__ she pointed to Sazh. _

_"Daddy!" Dajh cried__,__ running towards his father. _

_Vanille continued to walk and smile as Sazh was reunited with his son. She headed towards the pair first. Sazh looked at her walking towards them and gave her a smile. _

_"I'm glad you're okay," Sazh said__,__ giving her a hug. _

_She returned it happily. "I'm happy you're okay too."_

_Next she walked up to Hope. Before he could react she placed a hand on the back of his head and pulled him towards her. _

_"Not too beaten up, are you?" she asked._

_"'Course not," he mumbled__,__ taking a few steps back. "You seem fine."_

_"Of course!" she responded cheerfully. "What'd you expect?"_

_Lightning was a lot harder to face. She held out the bracelet Serah had given her and placed it in one of Lightning's hands._

_"I'm sorry," Vanille said. "I'm so sorry."_

_Silence hung in the air and she had a feeling that all wasn't forgiven so easily. _

_"It's all right," Lightning said. "Thank you for bringing this back. I think that you should keep it though."_

_Vanille took the bracelet back and looked at it in her hands. How could Serah have acted so nicely to her? She had done nothing but cause her pain. Vanille was just a terrible person full of lying and cheating. She didn't deserve this. Nevertheless she nodded and placed the bracelet in the pouch on her right thigh. _

_Turning to Snow she felt her insides begin to churn. She tried to give him a smile, but the corners of her mouth weren't working properly. He took two strides forward and wrapped his arms around her. No words were needed, because when he was around she could do what she had needed to do._

_She cried._

* * *

The bed was way too big and she was way too cold. It also didn't feel right and the pillows were much too fluffy. Vanille came to the conclusion that hotels were not her style at all. It just seemed extra bad because Snow was nowhere in sight. She propped up and looked around the room a few times before noticing that the bathroom light was on.

She swung her legs from the side of the bed and walked towards the bathroom. The door was open and she took a chance by looking in. Snow was sitting on the tile floor with his back against the cabinet. His eyes were closed, but she could tell he was awake since he was tapping something against his knee. Vanille turned around on her heel as quietly as possible.

"Vanille," Snow groaned.

Flinching, she turned back to look at him. He waved his hand in a motion for her to sit with him. Sitting down backwards, she rested herself between his knees and leaned her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and started to stroke her stomach.

"Yes?" she asked, but it came out more like a squeak.

"Are these things... accurate?" he asked, holding the positive pregnancy test in front of her face.

"Well that's what they say," she said, sliding down further on the tile floor. "It could be a fluke though. It was only one time."

"How many of these have you taken?" Snow asked.

"Oh, I don't know..." Vanille trailed off. "Like six? And they were all... positive."

Her voice was so high-pitched now that it was a wonder his ears weren't bleeding. His hands then turned protective against her still flat stomach. She took a chance and turned around to look at his face. To her surprise he was smiling.

"I'm going to be a dad," he said, pressing his forehead against hers.

"That is usually how these things work," Vanille said. "You're not mad, are you?"

"Mad?" he asked. "Hell no! I'm the happiest and luckiest guy in the world right now."

Without giving her a second to think he took her in his arms and stood up, carrying her bridal style back into the bedroom. Placing her on the bed, he ran a hand through her hair and kissed her long and hard.

"I love you," he said when the kiss was broken.

Looking up at him, she finally gave out a real, genuine smile. "I love you too."

**The End.**

* * *

**Well, that's that. I hoped you enjoyed this short fic. I had a whole bunch of fun writing it. I'm also pretty excited about this being (most likely) the first Snow/Vanille fic out there. Review! God bless!**

**- Erin aka linksofmemories**


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